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Sober: Ben Johnson -- the Kicking Addiction interview

[Transcript]

Sober: Ben Johnson


Ben is one of the owners of the legendary San Diego Casbah and bartends there when he’s not playing locally in one of his bands.

We did a video interview for Reviewer TV because it’s uncommon for someone who is totally immersed in the saloon lifestyle to be a complete non-drinker when his life is so economically tied to alcohol.

(The video version of this interview was uploaded July 30, 2017, and is posted at the bottom of the page. ~Editor)

Sober bar owner, bartender, band leader, novelist, movie producer, among other things, Ben Johnson at the Casbah where he's being interviewed for Reviewer TV.

Sober bar owner, bartender, punkrock band leader, self-published novelist, movie script writer and producer, among other things, Ben Johnson at the Casbah where he’s being interviewed for Reviewer TV.

Reviewer Rob

Rob: Yeah, so the idea is, um, basically it’s gonna be about, uh, recovery, and what I’d like to do is interview different people that were able to, uh, overcome addiction, in various ways, and, also —

Ben: Did you quit drinking also?

Rob: Not fully, not that… At least it’s not killing me now.

Ben: Why are you interested in it?

Rob: Um, I think there’s a big need for, ya know, especially like with the opiate addiction and stuff, pills and stuff, that is kind of wrecking middle America, and a lot of different cities in the country and stuff, and the pharmaceuticals. Because that might not have been your Jones, but —

Ben: Oh, I, like, my longest term girlfriend, before Monique, who I’m married to now, who I went out with for, five-plus years, but she got really heavy into first pills and then the logical progression…

Rob: How is she now?

Ben: She’s finally clean.

Rob: How’d she get out of it?
(A woman interrupts to talk with Ben, hands him tickets or a flier or something and he leans across the bar to speak with her and thank her, as a guitar plays the opening riffs of Day Tripper by The Beatles in the background from the band warming up with sound-check. The music abruptly stops as Ben and her finish and he returns to the interview.)

Rob: So, yeah, um, I’m interested in like interviewing individual people that are overcoming addiction, and also getting interviews with like, different organizations like everyone from Father Joe’s to Salvation Army that provide rehab services and you know, getting that angle too.

Ben: Right.

Rob: Maybe interviewing people that are currently struggling, or helping people that are currently struggling.

Ben: (nods) Mhm.

Rob: Things like that.

Ben: Yeah, cool, I’m into it. Yeah. Totally.

Rob: Okay, good good. Thanks.

Ben: Yeah I mean, yeah I was never part of a program, I just like removed all other options from my mind.

Rob: Really?

Ben: Yeah. Because that was kind of the way that worked for me. I didn’t really, I didn’t really want to take that whole chunk of time out of my life, that, not necessarily, like that, being in a program seems to, like, kind of go hand and hand with. Like, people do it everyday, working everyday, you can go how often you want, But I just, I didn’t want my not drinking to just be my social life all of the sudden. Like, I kind of wanted to have my same social life but just exorcise that one thing, which is the negative thing.

Rob: A lot of people seem to need to get out of their peer group and kind of remove themselves from that, uh, environment, but you didn’t seem to do that. You didn’t have to do that?

Ben: I liked my peer group.

Rob: But it wasn’t a detriment to you too?

Ben: I mean, uh, it didn’t, it didn’t in any way pose an obstacle to my successfully doing it. Because I just, like I said, I just absolutely removed the option from my mind. If like I… well a lot of it has to do with how much money I make here, and I can’t just — I dropped out of high school. I can’t go make this money somewhere, just whenever — ya know?

(A person walks up out-of-frame and Ben reaches his hand across the bar.)
Ben: (to customer) Hey Buddy, how are you? (shakes hand) Good to see you.

Ben: (returns to conversation) So, that was like, I can’t quit my job! So I’m gonna have to be around booze, so I’m gonna have to deal with it. I play music. I mean that’s like pretty much the one fringe benefit that’s free of playing in clubs all the time, is that you get free drinks. Ya know, you don’t get… You might not get paid, but you’re gonna get a couple free drinks, you know what I mean? So, yeah. I mean I’ve been playing long enough that I generally do get paid, or would get paid, but ya know (laughs) you know what I’m saying.

Rob: Was there like a moment, like an epiphany moment for you, where you realized that you had to change?

Ben: That was when I, well yeah I told you in a text, I was working at Lancers for about a year, and I would just go in and start doing shots at like 9 in the morning and drinking, fuckin’ drinkin, drink drink drink drink! I mean I drank SO much, it was actually very difficult to keep up drinking as much as I needed to drink because I did not want to sober up because then I would have the mother of all hangovers. I couldn’t do that. So I just had to keep drinking, and drinking, and drinking, it was like even if I would go out I would have to go by the liquor store and grab a beer and huff it in the parking lot, and then go out. You know? I’d be constantly drinking, absolutely constantly drinking.

Rob: When was this? How long ago?

Ben: This was for… I lived like that for about ten years.

Rob: Uh huh.

Ben: Yeah.

Rob: And you were working here too?

Ben: Up until I turned 35. That’s when I quit drinking. I’m 47 now. And I was working here too. Oh yeah, I drank so much when I worked here, just fuckin’ absolutely polluted all the time. But so was everyone else when I was working here at the time. Now it’s not like that, but it sure was back then. It was full on wild west, so…

Rob: Where there a rough period, when you had to transition from drinking to not drinking?

Ben: Oh yeah! I mean, oh, there was a super rough period, I actually tried to quit one time but I made it about four months , and I thought.. like “Oh fuck it, I can have a beer with dinner or something.” And then just — (explosive gesture). That didn’t work out. So then, about a year later, when I started that first four-month period, one year later then I, uh, I did it again and that’s when.. I was working at Lancers for about a year, and used to drink all the time, and kinda closeted. But ya know, kinda not, and then I passed out drunk for like the second time, where people were coming in and like trying to poke me and going and like, leaving money by the till, and I would wake up and be like, “What’s this money?” Ya know? And so, the second time I got woken up by the girl who was supposed to come in later, about four hours later, but she had to come in early and then uh, and I was drunk. I went and passed out. Called my boss later and said, “Do I still have my job?”, and he said, “FUCK NO!” And I said, “Okay, fair enough.” And then I talked to my girlfriend, who’s now my wife, and I was like, “Well, ya know, I kind of have to quit drinking now.” And she said, “Well, okay, can you just slow down?” And I said, “No, I absolutely have to quit drinking. “It’s the only thing I can do, and you know this bad thing happened and it’s about to ruin our relationship.” And I said you know, all this and that and the other. It would ruin my playing music and my job I like, which is the job here. And then I was just like, ya know, it’s time. The one wheel that fell of is the extraneous piece of shit wheel I didn’t care about. I actually did not like that job.

Rob: Oh, okay..

Ben: It was a daytime bartending job, ya know, you could get the same joke, same stories everyday from the same five guys. It just sucked.

Rob: That was the one wheel off, Lancers?

Ben: Lancers, yeah. So then I said, “Well?” and she asked me, “How are you gonna quit drinking?” and I said “Well, I’m gonna go.” We were actually going through a rough patch, because I was drinking so much, she was living over with, well, behind her sister where we both were living for a while but I was living with a friend of mine where we used to practice music, and so I said, well, I’m just going to get a shit load of beer, and I’m going to drink from now, Friday night, until Monday morning just, I’m gonna drink. That’s all I’m gonna do is drink. And then I’m gonna wake up Monday morning and I’m never gonna drink again as long as I live. And that’s what I did. That was 12 years ago.

Rob: Was anybody else in your life, like your girlfriend, or your brother, or any family members telling you, “You need to stop drinking”?

Ben: Uh, yeah. But not any intervention thing, they were just like, “Jesus Christ, dude? What are you fucking doing?” Ya know? “You’re 35 years old, and you’re like, what the fuck are you fucking doing?” Ya know.. “Get it together.” And I’m all like, “Fuck you! You fucking assholes!” And I was just like, ya know, no one could tell me shit. And uh, so, until then, I just did it. And I just removed that thing from life that was holding me back. And I’ve been on a humongously productive tear ever since then. Because I threw my energy into all the, I, I, looked into it as a fork in the road where I can continue to have my hopes and dreams and the creative things that I wanted to do since I was a kid like write books and make movies, and be in, like, playing music, and all that stuff, or I can shelve all that and just continue drinking the way I’m drinking and probably, ya know, drink myself out of a girlfriend, and bands, and job, and house, probably…

Rob: You’d be washed up by 40.

Ben: Yeah, I mean like, exactly. Like washed up before 40 years old. Just hit the gutter kid, you’re done. So rather than doing that, I wanted to keep doing all the shit! (laughs) And keep my relationships intact, and all that stuff. So, um…

Rob: And no turning back, you’ve never had any temptation to slide back, huh?

Ben: Not since then, really. No, not at all. I mean you’ve gotta understand, detoxing after you’ve been drinking that long is so incredibly painful. The night sweats, and I got fuckin’ staph infections all over my body, like peppered with fucking infections, all over my lower area —

Rob: Really?

Ben: — I have a big fuckin’ crater in my ass because of it.. And I just, I just.. and I constantly just felt sick, just so sick, ya know? And just can’t get over this awful, sickness. It just starts right in your fucking little pitted area (holds fingers of both hands at his abdomen) and just spreads throughout your bodym and just this gross fucking sickness. So, first of all, I never wanna go through that again! Second of all, I mean I don’t even really regret drinking, in even the amount I drank, because I did have a lot of fucking fun, ya know? But when it was time to fucking quit it… It’s like you have finite amount of drinks in your life. (holds arms apart, out wide) I mean, maybe you can drink until your 90, if you start when your 21, and this kind of shit — OR, you’re gonna drink like I drink and have 15 years of intensive drinking, and then not really. And I feel like I did that so much to death, that my reality was this, this ya know quagmire, kind of, and I just like… Okay I have that, and now I’m in this place where my thinking is clear, my focus is laser like, I know what I want to do…
(loud electric organ type music or something starts up in background)

Rob: So, working in a bar, being you know behind the bar and you’re part-owner of the Casbah, you see a lot of people probably that are kind of in a bad way, I mean, do you ever feel like telling them like, “Hey, why don’t you cut back a little bit? Why, don’t you like…?” Do you ever feel…?

Ben: Well first of all, fewer then you would think, who I see here at this job, it’s not like a neighborhood bar, you have to pay a cover to get in and stuff, so if you’re a ‘drinker drinker’ you’re not gonna fuckin’, like, you’re not going to very many clubs, unless their free, ya know what I mean? Everything was free for me when I was drinking that much. Like I usually don’t see huge problem drinkers when I’m here, and when I do — I mean not that I don’t — and no, I don’t, because it’s not my job to intervene. If someone wants to come to me and say, “Hey man, I need help. I need your suggestions for how I can help myself.” I’ll say, “Fuck yeah!” But it’s not my place to tell people that they should not be doing what they’re doing because if anybody told me, that kinda shit, when I was just some Joe-Blow fuckin’ bartender I’d say, “Suck my fuckin’ dick!” And they would deserve to hear that shit. So fuck that! I don’t go giving my opinion to motherfuckers that I don’t even hardly know. At all. That is not the way that I’m gonna do things ever. But if somebody wants help, fuck yeah. I will take some time to help that person.

Rob: What are the best organizations in town that you’ve heard about, but maybe don’t have personal experience with, that maybe are offering adult rehab services that people? Like, have you…?

Ben: My knowledge of those is almost nonexistent.

Rob: Really, nothing? Oh, okay.

Ben: Nah.

Rob: You don’t know anyone who’s ever had any success with those?

Ben: The only thing that I know that people do is AA, I mean, and NA.

Rob: Did you ever go to AA, or NA?

Ben: Only because I got a DUI in 1999 and it was court-mandated. When I quit drinking. No.

Rob: Okay.

Ben: I did court-mandated things until, I couldn’t. I did like two and then I just forged signatures after that. I couldn’t hang with the meetings. (laughs)

Rob: Right on.

Ben: (laughs) So there ya go, there’s my complicity.

Rob: Thanks Ben.

Ben: Right on, dude.

Sober – Ben Johnson from Reviewer on Vimeo.

Jenni Bombshell in a 2007 members video

[Members Content]

BBW Jenni Bombshell

That time Reviewer TV talked to Big Hot Bombshell Jenni

Reviewer Rob

Check it out, sportsfans. I found this archive video of Jenni Bombshell from 2007 or so. It’s an interesting sociological study in body acceptance, and all that. Plus she’s such a cutie…

Around ten years ago back in the mid-aughts ginormous obese women where a thing on the interwebs. I assume there still are whole genres of adult entertainment devoted to them and message boards and chatrooms filled with their admirers paying millions of dollars collectively to be members on websites where these models interact.

Jenny Bombshell was one such “Big Beautiful Woman” (“BBW” in the the adult industry lingo). I got to know her a year before this when she was an apartment manager in Ocean Beach, San Diego, and I needed a new place to live. A condo conversion sale of my rental’s complex was forcing me to move and time was running out. Jenny took my application to the owner who rented to me a nice 2-bedroom apartment with an ocean view.

She was a unique and unique charming and incredibly FAT woman (I think she might’ve tipped the scales at 500 pounds!). I later found out Jenni was internet famous in the world of adult entertainment BBWs. But she was also at the same time living a life of normalcy outside of the word of fat girl fetish, and she never mingled the two — until this interview for Reviewer TV. The file details have August 21 2007 as the earliest available date for it so that sounds about right.

If you’re not already a members you can join for a couple of bucks.

Video | Members | Join

Jenny Bombshell

Jenny Bombshell

Shopgirl Jules Describes Her Ink

[Members Video]

Eight Tattoos

I met Jules when I was on a bike ride on North Seattle along a beach called Ballard. It was a gorgeous summer day and the vibe could not be better. Being a Southern Californian and a lapsed surfer I was happy to see a surf shop amid the boat docks and made a beeline to it. Jules was at the counter talking to customers and after they left she commented on my minimalist sneakers. Turns out she’s a runner and I’d had these shoes for about a year and she was the first person to recognise the style. A couple of days later we met at Alki Beach at her suggestion. It was low tide and the pebbly beach was relatively wide. Alki Beach is an historic location because it’s considered the “birthplace of Seattle” with million-dollar teardowns lining the main street along the shore. I also took some photos of the Space Needle from there the night before we met because it’s where the Seattle skyline is prominently viewable. To the west are breathtaking views of the Olympic Mountains.

Jules has eight tattoos, all traditional blueish-black ink, but she planning more, including a left arm sleeve in full color from shoulder to elbow and a stomach piece that is heavy with local and family symbolism that will feature Mt. Hood. Members can click the Video link below to hear this fine Seattlite’s story. If you’re not already a member please join us.

Video | Members | Join

Tattoo talk: shopgirl Jules from Ballard Surf in Seattle relates about her ink stories.

Tattoo talk: shopgirl Jules from Ballard Surf in Seattle relates about her ink stories.

Shooting an art model in her Seattle basement artist studio

[Members Video]

With Katlyn

Reviewer Rob

There’s a couple of Members videos (two of them) that we shot while doing the photos with art model Katlyn in Seattle last week. They’re HERE. If you’re not yet a member you can join on for a small monthly fee on this page.

Videos | Join | Members


Kat in her art studio.

Kat in her art studio.

Kat in her art studio.

Kat in her art studio.

Kat in her art studio.

Kat in her art studio.

Kat in her art studio.

Kat in her art studio.

Kat in her art studio.

Kat in her art studio.

Kat in her art studio.

Will The Artist-Friendly Rental Economy Ever Return?

Airbnb Economic Trends

Will the Trump-era prove harmful to landlords? Having sympathy for the wealthy, while pushing their real estate schemes in a downward direction.

Reviewer Rob

Mission Beach, above the seagulls.

Mission Beach, above the seagulls. From the article in the Union Tribune.

According to this article in the UT, under a new San Diego city council action, Airbnb short-term rentals of whole homes there will be limited to “one’s primary residence only for up to six months out of the year. While there had been a move afoot to consider exempting the Mission Beach rentals that had been paying required transient occupancy taxes to the city, the council majority was unwilling to legislate any waivers.”

Many landlords are worried that this will diminish profits to the point where they would have to consider selling.

So sad. Let us pity the wealthy. It would be tragic if they had to sell their investment properties at a loss and then the new owners reduced the rents to a market rate that re-attracted artists and other working class people who had the time then to be creative and have and actual life instead of working to pay a rent that was more than fifty percent of their monthly take-home pay.

If this new ordinance does what it sounds like it’ll do, that is, regulate in a downward direction the growing AirB&B trend in San Diego and especially the beach areas, then GREAT. Anything to slow and possibly REVERSE the rising rents in that sunny Southern Californian community. The great and political collusion among the landlord classes there is stunning and unabated.

Perhaps it’s too much to ask that, nationwide, the municipal zoning laws return with the form of rent control seen in the post-New Deal era that led to cold-water flats in New York City being rented out to working class off-broadway actors for $28 per-month that persisted under the radar until this past March. But if it does then all the better. The arts are dying because of the rental economy. It’s time for the wrestling match to see a reversal.

Shopgirl Jules

Northwest Summer

Shop girl Jules, Alki Beach, Seattle, 7-17-18, Nikon D5300, ISO 100, 10-24mm Tamron 3.5-4.5 lens, 17mm focal length, f11 @ 1/160th.

Jules, Puget Sound, Alki Beach, Seattle, 7-17-18.

Jules, Puget Sound, Alki Beach, Seattle, 7-17-18.

Seattle's downtown from Alki Beach

Night Shooting

Reviewer Rob

After my bike ride at Alki Beach at sunset I shot some night photos with my tripod and a couple of telephotos.

You can click the pics for larger.

Space Needle,  Nikin D5300, 400 iso, 400mm Sigma analog lens @ f4 1/30 sec.

Space Needle, Nikin D5300, 400 iso, 400mm Sigma analog lens @ f4 1/30 sec.

Seattle's downtown, Nikon D5300, 400 iso, Tamron digital lens at 200mm, f2.8 1/60 sec.

Seattle’s downtown, Nikon D5300, 400 iso, Tamron digital lens at 200mm, f2.8 1/60 sec.

Seattle is nice, so there's that.

Enjoying the Northwest

Reviewer Rob

I went for a nice bike ride today along the Puget Sound. It was near Ballard, I think. It’s been a long-time goal of mine to get here and see this place, a real remarkable wonder of nature. Although it was a warm, sunny day and everything was perfect I have to say I was almost underwhelmed. Seemed like I was at the shore of a large lake and not a part of the Pacific Ocean. I guess technically the Sound is perhaps a separate body of water. But I had to reach down and scoop up a handful of wet gravel here to smell if it’s salt water. This really didn’t seem like to mighty Pacific, it was so calm and peaceful. The news reports were saying that this was going to be the hottest day of the year.

I’m uploading a behind-the-scenes video or two of my photo shoot the other day with K, a local art model (she works as a Seattle-based traveling nude model and also paints from her own photography so she’s an artist/photographer/model). The two black and whites posted below are from the shoot in her downtown Seattle basement art studio workspace. The videos are being uploaded to the Members folder here for Premium high rollers, SO JOIN UP.

#nowaves #seattlewashington #pugetsound #summerbikerides

Seattle beach day, 7-15-18.

Seattle beach day, 7-15-18.

Reclining art nude, Seattle, June 2018.

Reclining art nude, Seattle, June 2018.

Basement art studio nude.

Basement art studio nude.

Test Marketing The Unthinkable

When Is It Enough?

“Fascism does not need a majority – it typically comes to power with about forty percent support and then uses control and intimidation to consolidate that power.”

The past as prologue.

The past as prologue.

Reposted from the Facebook feed of Paul Kaufman

Fintan O’Toole wrote this yesterday in The Irish Times:

“To grasp what is going on in the world right now, we need to reflect on two things. One is that we are in a phase of trial runs. The other is that what is being trialled is fascism – a word that should be used carefully but not shirked when it is so clearly on the horizon. Forget “post-fascist” – what we are living with is pre-fascism.

It is easy to dismiss Donald Trump as an ignoramus, not least because he is. But he has an acute understanding of one thing: test marketing. He created himself in the gossip pages of the New York tabloids, where celebrity is manufactured by planting outrageous stories that you can later confirm or deny depending on how they go down. And he recreated himself in reality TV where the storylines can be adjusted according to the ratings. Put something out there, pull it back, adjust, go again.

Fascism doesn’t arise suddenly in an existing democracy. It is not easy to get people to give up their ideas of freedom and civility. You have to do trial runs that, if they are done well, serve two purposes. They get people used to something they may initially recoil from; and they allow you to refine and calibrate. This is what is happening now and we would be fools not to see it.

One of the basic tools of fascism is the rigging of elections – we’ve seen that trialled in the election of Trump, in the Brexit referendum and (less successfully) in the French presidential elections. Another is the generation of tribal identities, the division of society into mutually exclusive polarities.

Fascism does not need a majority – it typically comes to power with about forty percent support and then uses control and intimidation to consolidate that power. So it doesn’t matter if most people hate you, as long as your forty percent is fanatically committed. That’s been tested out too.

And fascism of course needs a propaganda machine so effective that it creates for its followers a universe of “alternative facts” impervious to unwanted realities. Again, the testing for this is very far advanced.

But when you’ve done all this, there is a crucial next step, usually the trickiest of all. You have to undermine moral boundaries, inure people to the acceptance of acts of extreme cruelty. Like hounds, people have to be blooded. They have to be given the taste for savagery.

Fascism does this by building up the sense of threat from a despised out-group. This allows the members of that group to be dehumanised. Once that has been achieved, you can gradually up the ante, working through the stages from breaking windows to extermination.

People have to be given the taste for savagery. Fascism does this by building up the sense of threat from a despised out-group.

It is this next step that is being test-marketed now. It is being done in Italy by the far-right leader and minister for the interior Matteo Salvini. How would it go down if we turn away boatloads of refugees? Let’s do a screening of the rough-cut of registering all the Roma and see what buttons the audience will press. And it has been trialled by Trump: let’s see how my fans feel about crying babies in cages. I wonder how it will go down with Rupert Murdoch.

To see, as most commentary has done, the deliberate traumatisation of migrant children as a “mistake” by Trump is culpable naivety. It is a trial run – and the trial has been a huge success. Trump’s claim last week that immigrants “infest” the US is a test-marketing of whether his fans are ready for the next step-up in language, which is of course “vermin”.

And the generation of images of toddlers being dragged from their parents is a test of whether those words can be turned into sounds and pictures. It was always an experiment – it ended (but only in part) because the results were in.

And the results are quite satisfactory. There is good news on two fronts. First, Rupert Murdoch is happy with it – his Fox News mouthpieces outdid themselves in barbaric crassness: making animal noises at the mention of a Down syndrome child, describing crying children as actors. They went the whole swinish hog: even the brown babies are liars. Those sobs of anguish are typical of the manipulative behaviour of the strangers coming to infest us – should we not fear a race whose very infants can be so devious?

Second, the hardcore fans loved it: Fifty-eight percent of Republicans are in favour of this brutality. Trump’s overall approval ratings are up to 42.5 per cent.
This is greatly encouraging for the pre-fascist agenda. The blooding process has begun within the democratic world. The muscles that the propaganda machines need for defending the indefensible are being toned up. Millions and millions of Europeans and Americans are learning to think the unthinkable.

So what if those black people drown in the sea? So what if those brown toddlers are scarred for life? They have already, in their minds, crossed the boundaries of morality. They are, like Macbeth, “yet but young in deed”. But the tests will be refined, the results analysed, the methods perfected, the messages sharpened. And then the deeds can follow.”

Let us protect our freedom with all our democratic power, and continue to be brave with everything we must face.”

[Members Video] Zak Smith/Zak Sabbath interview

Tales Of Darkness And Light

Full time artist and part time porn star Zak Smith, otherwise known as Zak Sabbath to adult entertainment fans, is interviewed at the Hard Rock Hotel during the 2018 AEE convention in Las Vegas

by Reviewer Rob

Members can listen to Zak as they watch the amazing full video interview on ReviewerTV HERE.

Los Angeles based American painter Zak Smith (a.k.a. the porn performer Zak Sabbath) being interviewed for ReviewerTV in January 2018 at AEE in Vegas at The Hard Rock Hotel by Reviewer Rob.

Los Angeles based American painter Zak Smith (a.k.a. the porn performer Zak Sabbath) being interviewed for ReviewerTV in January 2018 at AEE in Vegas at The Hard Rock Hotel by Reviewer Rob.